Snowy Road and Two Figures

Quiet times. Days are short and snow is deep outside my window. The earth is muffled and cold. My eyes grow heavy early in the evening, and beg to stay closed in the frosty mornings. I don’t struggle, but surrender. More sleep, warm clothes, hearty food, less movement. There is magic in this inward time - every year I feel it. Some things are amplified when all of nature is subdued and quiet. 

Today, while driving down a winding, snow covered road - I saw two figures moving through the snow ahead.  I passed, in slow motion, and I noticed they were Amish boys - probably about 14-15 years old walking down the road. It was blustery - another lake effect storm that had been predicted. Every square inch was covered in deep pillowy snow.  Big flakes fell softly and abundantly - the temps in the low teens (lower when you factor in wind chill).  They wore simple black wool coats, straw hats and gloves. The contrast of their black clothing in the all-white landscape was striking and a little dream-like. 

I passed very slowly and glanced at them out the side window, expecting to see bitterness or struggle in their windblown faces. 

The first boy had turned to look back at his companion - smiling and robust. His simple wool coat was covered with snow, and his gloved had was reaching back toward his friend in a friendly way. (Is this the boy on the horse that inspired such wonder in an earlier post?)

As I passed, I looked in the rearview mirror to see the figures softly blurred by the falling snow, finally to disappear into the milkyness, and was overcome with emotion. 

Was it a memory spurred by the woolen black coat dusted in white snow? Or was it the smile on the boys face, when at the gas station in town earlier that day, folks dressed warmly with warm cars awaiting them were frowning and complaining?  My eyes just filled with tears without any sad or sappy thoughts to accompany them. They just did - one fleeting moment - here and gone. 

Other feelings replaced it: Nervousness at driving in the wintry weather, confidence as the snow let up, happiness at the thought of going home to a warm fire and bowl of soup, sadness at the thought of an upcoming surgery a loved one is facing. Feelings and emotions coming and going just as quickly as the snowflakes floating past my window. 

I didn’t ponder too much more -  but the image remains with me like a sleepy dream. I'll hold onto it until it falls away from my awareness, when I will be open to the next magic moment that rises up out the snow.

~j

strawberry moon

5.23.17 - 6.19.17

It was a chilly and rainy June - many days hovering in the low 60’s. Some evenings dropped into the 50’s found us craving a wood stove fire, and I’ve taken some evening walks with my favorite knit hat on my head.

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The surrounding hills and valleys are green and lush - like a rainforest. The hayfields are thick and abundant this year, with hay taller than Tim’s head (well over 6 ft)! Because of all of the rainfall, the farmer who hays our fields has been late in doing so - but that means we get to enjoy it’s soft, undulating beauty even longer! The bobolinks are having a "hay" day with all of these extra weeks to live in the tall grass. I enjoy my time at the top of the hill watching them swoop and listening to their cheerful calls. Mo enjoys our walks too, and even though his age is showing, he still runs down the hill to beat me home.

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Weeding duties are resuming (between raindrops) and I try to get in one row a day. Unfortunately, the weeds love all the rain as well and are growing steady and sure.

Our garden was late going in and we are behind a couple of weeks.  Each year in the garden looks different, and the only thing we can count on is that: it is never the same two years in a row.  

This year, our garlic is gorgeous, tall and sturdy and green. Our peas are coming in fast and furious, and lettuce is abundant. I love seeing the rows of green growing day by day, whatever it may be this year.

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The fireflies that are usually out early June and lighting up the fields like blinking strings of Christmas lights were late in arriving this year - and not as intense.

It is an “off” year, as some years are. And though I miss the heat and sultry Junes of past years, there are gifts that come with this particular weather. Last summer was dry (drought) and hot - this summer is (so far) wet and cool. Natures way of balancing out. We have to trust in that wisdom. 

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One summer mainstay remains the same: my journal of days is non-existent: as always happens this time of year when the days are long and filled to the brim with good work, outside time, yard and garden care and animal tending (pigs and chickens this year!). I will save the contemplations for the cold and dark months of winter - for now it’s strawberry pie and porch sitting when the weeding is done!

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~ j

flower moon :: a journal of days

5.4.17

The sun is rising and it is beautiful and green outside. I awoke to find blossoms open on the apple, plum and lilac. 

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5.5.17

First asparagus picked: 3 long, leggy green stalks. Simply steamed and lightly salted: a flavor that pulls me completely out of winter’s cold grey and into spring’s warm green. 

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5.8.17

I had a studio work day yesterday. Picked up 3 bags of fleece (Shetland) from a customer, and have begun to process it. I'm grateful to spend this day with all things fiber and garden.

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5.13.17

While were away this weekend, a good friend picked up our honey bees who needed to be picked up before 8am : 2 nucs! 

When we returned home, Tim moved them into the hives. We bless them and hope for the best.  So good to see them out and about again doing their good work!

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5.14

I love to be here, on this hill. My joy is here.  Being in the fields with the silly little bobolinks - listening, observing. I ask for guidance and clarity.

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5.16.17

Saying "no" to social media that pulls me way from here and now to that “other” place of likes and dislikes. Feeling annoyed at a day spent with such silly distraction. 

Instead, a book in hand, a tall jar of ice water seasoned with mint from my garden, the smell of rain in my nose, and a cool breeze on my skin. 

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5.17.17

The geese are calling from their place in the field across the street. I love to hear them. My cat and dog are lying with me as I write. They follow me everywhere whether I’m gardening, hanging laundry, sitting on the porch, or reading in bed... they are such steady and cheerful companions!

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5.18.17

Full and glorious day spent in the garden! Weeded around the asparagus and raked out my cut-flower plots. Planted 4 varieties of zinnias,  3 varieties of dahlias, lavender, yarrow, snapdragons, lupines and strawflowers. I also transplanted onion sets, broccoli and celery plants that we started inside.  

Windy day - but sunny and warm. Enjoyed the company of my cat (aptly named “Flower”) and the remaining hen, who stayed just outside the fence while I pulled weeds: waiting to eat the worms.  

I would look up to see Norah playing in the yard and climbing the tree by the chicken barn. At one point she was dressed in a black gown, followed by the 24 meat chickens - if only I had my camera at the ready!  What a stunning photograph that would have been. :)  

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5.19.17

Isn’t it funny how a smell can evoke so many images and memories? All in a whiff. 

Lilacs remind me of my Grandma Cudney.  I miss both of my grandmas - but when lilacs appear I remember so specifically my Grandma Cudney. And then, I begin to remember so many other things that remind me of her: bread and butter pickles, roast beef dinners, easter chocolate, fancy brooches, knitting.  

Memories flood me: the cabin and weekends there with Grandma and Grandpa C. A window with an old curtain and soft morning light. A certain smell of barn wood, fresh mowed grass, coffee and bacon. I can still summon up feelings of being there. Such strong heart connection to that place and time. Always safe, always loved. 

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5.20.17

Pay attention to the small moments that move you - they are snapshots of what your heart sings for. 

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5.21.17

Our garden is so happy and green with new sprouts. I’ve been enjoying my time there, weeding and planting. I am so happy to be back outside with the fragrant herbs and flowers. These things truly fill me. 

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5.22.17

Office day today - rightly so, because it’s cooler and rainy.  Great news for the new seeds I just put in the garden.  

Caleb and Cassidy just brought me a cup of coffee - it’s warmth all the more so because of the gift of it. 

We will be getting our pigs today! And also a rooster to replace the ones taken earlier in spring to a weasel.  6 pullets almost grown and 6 more pullets coming up to join the remaining hen and the new rooster.

All of this goodness…..feels like home.

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~ j

pink moon :: a journal of days

3.27.17

First work bonfire of the year!  We cleaned up the fallen branches in the yard and burned them, along with old fencing, a once-used goat milking stand, and other debris that has been lying about. It was good to be out in the warm sunshine and smell the earthy woodsmoke. The warmth of the fire and the sound of birdsong was good medicine.

I  tackled some more of the grapevines and multi flora rose that was strangling the pine trees and apple tree in the scrub area next to the fire pit. So satisfying to tend to the land in this way!

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3.30.17

Low gumption day yesterday. It was chilly out, even though the sun was shining - so though I had outdoor chores on my" to do" list, I was drawn to the felting table and the spinning wheel with a mug of warm tea. 

Peepers were singing last night!  I opened my bedroom window to hear them, and fell asleep reading “Braiding Sweetgrass” listening to their song.

Our bees didn’t make it this year, an entire hive lost. So sad. A reflection of what is happening on our planet in one hive. What are we doing wrong? Tim will take a frame to local beekeepers to be inspected. He has ordered 2 new nucs, but is feeling discouraged.

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3.31.17

Rain is falling steady and it is damp.

I may build a fire today, even though temps are supposed to be in the 40’s.  No outside work today!

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4.4.17

Warmer yesterday with temps in the high 60’s - peepers out in full song!  Sleeping with windows open - the fresh breeze feels good after a winter of being indoors in dry heat. I always sleep so much better with the windows open. Today the wind will pick up again bringing more rain.

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4.5.17

It is so cheerful to see all of the green and growing things around the house. Tall, thin onions, leafy broccoli, rosemary, celery and morning glories reaching up toward the light.

Cheerful sounds of bright baby chicks chirping wafting up from the workshop. The chicks are growing so fast and almost ready to join the others in the coop.

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4.7.17

Snow is back for one day - we lost a hen and our rooster John Wayne the other night. A weasel got into the coop and took them away. We have 3 hens remaining. Sad days for us chicken keepers.

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4.9.17

At a time of year when new life should be at the forefront, we find ourselves confronted with loss. We lost all of our bees a couple of weeks age, and now the hives are empty.  The chickens have all been picked off one by one - we have 2 scared hens remaining. They are afraid to go back into the coop, and we can’t find where they are laying the eggs.

We have 4 pullets that are living in a crate in the workshop (along with 12 growing meat chickens) who need to be transferred down to the barn. We will wait to see if we can capture the predator before sending them down. My heart is heavy over this, and this season of hope and renewal seems rather bleak at the moment.  But the only way out is through. 

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4.10.17

Beautiful weather this weekend - 70 degrees and sunny with peepers in full song. A full moon in the sky last night! I saw it setting from my bed out of the front window as I woke this morning. Peace and fullness for a moment.

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4.28.17

As spring fully descends on this farm, my spirits lift along with the green shoots of plants and budding flowers on trees and bushes.  

Spring work has begun!  Blueberry bushes were planted, apple trees mulched, and garden prepared. Tim and I planted the tiny seeds of onions, kale, lettuces, spinach, sage, chamomile and the big chunky fava beans in the rich, composted soil.  Pullets and meat chickens have been moved from the workshop to the coop, and are allowed outside in a penned area until further notice. We have one laying hen left after capturing the weasel that was picking off our flock. We have named her “Survivor” - but I call her “Mama” because she is now the matron.

Days are longer, and we are once again sitting on our front porch at the end of each day to enjoy the setting sun and the sounds of peepers and frogs. 

Life is abundant and good. 

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~ j

sap moon :: a journal of days

3.1.17

The redwing blackbirds have been in the treetops for about a week now. I hear them: “Cup O’ TEA!, Cup O’ TEA!” - and it makes me smile outwardly. These seasonal gifts never cease to lift my spirits and bring a big smile to my face.

I talked to a very nice woman about Longwool Sheep. We will go and see her this week just to have a look, buy some roving, and talk.  

Plans are also being discussed for a pole barn in the back. Although making any change to the landscape is a tough decision - we do need a sturdy barn for hay, supplies and animals! 

It feels so good to be moving forward!

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3.2.17

Windy last night! The whole house was shaking - woke up to snow, but no trees down.

March is such a strange month - winter or spring depending on the day, and you never know what you’re going to get!

Roosters are fighting and poor Papa has been beaten. He stayed away from the flock all day yesterday and slept on a pile of hay in the corner of the coop. It’s not looking good for him. He has been with us a long time, and has always been a loyal protector. 

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3.3.17

Moving into and through this month of self-doubt and gloominess. The only way out is through. Also remembering words of wisdom from “The Artist’s Way”:: “There are always moments of rest, or even moving backward, from forward progression toward a goal.”  I feel the need to just let my intentions rest for the moment and stop striving.

A haze of worry rests over me - & I’m a little perplexed as to why it’s there? Fear for the state of the union? Fear for the planet and living things? Missing the mothering of my children? Dealing with the inevitable loss of a dear rooster? 

Or maybe it’s just March.

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3.4.17

Very cold. Papa Rooster left the coop yesterday on a frigid cold, blustery, and snowy day. We assume he’s gone, he never returned. 

Joy and sadness do walk hand in hand on this farm. My heart thanks him and appreciates him. I don’t think roosters care too much about those things. But it feels right to pay my respects.

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3.5.17

Papa is alive! 

I heard his majestic crow coming from the back fields after feeding the other chickens. He is badly frostbitten and is missing an eye, but he heartily ate the food I put out for him and stayed out in the sun all day long. 

At dusk, Tim lured him into a big cage and brought him back to the coop where he could rest under the heat lamp with food and water. I will make him molasses oatmeal today, and give him time to heal.

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3.10.17

Snow has been falling again - keep moving forward, keep moving forward toward plans with heart engaged.

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3.13.17

Grateful for my practice, the crows, the wind and the sun.

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3.15.17

Nor-Easter bringing wind and temps in the 20’s. We hunkered down and I did some spinning and felting in the studio. 

The full Sap Moon sets every year in front of the farm house. Every year I watch it as it disappears, pink and full, into the western horizon. This year was overcast, and I was unable to enjoy - but some years are like that.

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3.16.17

Snow days  - 2 in a row! Cozy - but at this time of year we are itching for a change. 

Papa rooster has been in his cage since Friday night, when I found him half frozen and huddled by the barn. We will keep him in there until the cold passes.

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3.18.17

Weather has not broken. Snow, cold and freezing rain. I am antsy to begin outdoor clean-up: pruning, cutting back grape vines and prickers, raking, picking up fallen branches, repairing toppled stones and bricks around the fire pit. 

We lost some chickens the other night. Mama included. This is why we always buy a dozen or so pullets every year - because of the inevitable loss to predators. It’s part of the deal; and as hard as it is I’ve made peace with it. 

We have some new babes coming up to take their places in the coop this spring! 

Isn’t that the way? Life always follows death. Out of the darkness, only light can come.

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~ j